Featured, Lifestyle September 14, 2011

How To Stop Being A Pushover

S o now that we’ve established that it is maybe not such a good thing to be too nice of a person all the time, the next thing we need to do is figure out how to stop being a pushover.

Being a pushover goes hand in hand with being too nice of a person (as mentioned in our previous post) because they have pretty much the same concepts. Pushovers ARE nice people who sometimes tend to bend over backwards too much for the needs of others, even if they are unhappy about it, because they feel bad about saying no and about coming off as a mean person.

But like I said before, being nice gets you nowhere sometimes and there is a time to be nice and a time where you just have to say no. The saying nice guys (or girls) finish last is not just there for the fun of it, the saying is there for a reason.

If you want to stop feeling taken advantage of, or stop feeling that people are abusing your niceness and taking you for granted all the time, you need to stop being a pushover and here’s how you can do it.

Be Assertive: If you are not OK with something, then stand up and say no. Why should you say yes just because you’re worried about hurting the other person’s feelings or feeling bad that you can’t help? Do you stand to gain anything from it? Would the other person do the same if the situation were reversed? If the answer is no for both, then you know what to do.

Feelings Do Get Hurt Sometimes, Accept It: You can’t make everyone happy all the time. Getting feelings hurt is a part of life, accept it and get over it. If other people are not worried about pleasing YOU all the time, why would you want to do the same for them? Especially if they don’t appreciate it and take advantage of it.

You Come First: You know why certain people seem to have it all and get ahead in life? Because they put themselves first that’s why. And so should you. The only person responsible for your own happiness is you. You are not responsible for another person’s happiness, they can find their own way to be happy, it is not your job to make them happy.

You Have Your Own Needs Too: If you spend so much time worrying about pleasing others and helping them with their needs, who is going to help you with yours?

Don’t People Please Too Much: It’s simple – if other people are not bothered about pleasing you all the time, then you shouldn’t be bothered about pleasing them all the time either. People pleasing too much gets you overlooked, taken advantage of and take for granted.