If you were to assess your compatibility with your partner, how would you do it? Many people consider sharing similar tastes and hobbies important in a relationship as it fosters closeness and acts as a glue of sorts. Some people consider age a factor: can a girl who thinks Ke$ha is, like, totally awesome fall in love with a man who thinks Englebert Humperdinck is the bees knees?
Large age gaps between husband and wife are not unheard of, though. Hugh Hefner’s latest fiancée (or rather, EX-fiancée now) is a good 60 years his junior and Aaron Johnson, the star of Kick-Ass, created shockwaves when he got engaged to director Sam Taylor-Wood, 23 years his senior.
Most recently: Doug Anthony Hutchinson, best known for his role as prison guard Percy Wetmore in The Green Mile, married 16-year old aspiring country singer Courtney Stodden. He’s fifty-one. She’s SIXTEEN. It must be pointed out that the legal age for marriage is 18, and 16 is the cut-off age for marriage with parental consent.
Is it any wonder why people question the reasons for these marriages? Is it a meeting of minds… or of physicality (ahem, Hugh Hefner)? Actually, putting ‘physicality’ in the same thought as ‘Hugh Hefner’ makes me feel a little queasy. Of course, I’m sure his ex-fiancée doesn’t feel the same way, considering she accepted his proposal. I have a friend who broke off a relationship with a man 10 years older than herself because she felt that he condescended to her, feeling himself superior on the basis of age. Of course, 10 years isn’t that large a gap, and women are said to be more mature than men of the same age anyway. But when a young man barely out of his teens marries a woman in her forties, and a man gets together with a girl young enough to be his daughter (or granddaughter!), eyebrows are raised and motives questioned.
We should also examine the issues that can arise in a marriage in which the two parties are of vastly differing ages. Of course, it isn’t my place to question love – if it is indeed that; but I would really like to know if it is possible for people of such vastly different ages to be compatible, mentally. Can someone who is 21 be the mental equal of ,say, a 40-year old? I’m sure that exceptions exist, but for the most part, they’re very rare! I sometimes completely run out of conversational topics when conversing with my parents’ peers, and mind you, they aren’t fuddy-duddies who have completely lost touch with the younger generation. The generation gap is sometimes just too wide to be bridged by a handful of common interests or conversation topics, that’s all.
Physical changes as one party feels the effects of aging – more drastically than the other – would also cause the entire dynamic of the relationship to change. While the initial attraction may lie in a protective older figure or in a submissive younger person, in a few years it may change into a caretaker sort of dynamic. Marrying a 51-year-old at 16, Courtney may well find herself purchasing adult diapers at 36. When Aaron Johnson is 30 and in his prime, his wife will be 53, will he still find her attractive or start comparing her to her younger counterparts, only time will tell.
Considering marriage is supposed to be for life, this prospect is a little frightening don’t you think?
It didn’t really work out for Paul McCartney.
