W e all have that friend/lover/family member that hurt us so deeply we couldn’t even hear their name without feeling our blood boil. Try as we may, forgiveness just isn’t an option. And so we hold onto these grudges and allow the anger to eat us up from the inside. Now after everything they’ve already done to hurt you, do you really want their actions to continue doing so much damage? Sometimes it is simply easier to forgive.
You may think that it’s easier said than done, but forgiveness is like any other process. It takes time as well as willingness!
A great way to start is to remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. This may sound boring and cliche but if you really sit down and think about it, perhaps what they did actually lead to better things. Abandoned by a lover? Think about how incompatible the two of you really were. Think about how long the relationship would have dragged on before you realized how bad it was! Think about how long you would’ve been held back from meeting the right person for you! Believe it or not, when a door closes, another one really does open.
The next step in forgiving is understanding. Sometimes when we’re hurting it’s very hard to see things from another person’s point of view but when you’ve managed to calm down you may find it insightful. People often have reasons for doing the things they do, whether it is justifiable or not. Perhaps you caught a friend bitching about you behind your back. Think about the possible reasons she could be doing that. Maybe she’s jealous of you? Maybe you’ve been hurting her feelings and this is her passive aggressive way of releasing her resentment? By making sense of what happened, it may actually help you let go.
And finally, you have to realize that working on forgiveness is much more beneficial for you than it is for them. People often hold back forgiveness because they feel that the other person “does not deserve it”. But this isn’t about them, it’s about you. Do you deserve to rage over this person constantly? Do you deserve to lose trust in people as a result of this betrayal? Do you deserve to be forever haunted by the hurt and anger? No? Then let it go, leave the punishment to their own conscience.
Holding on to the pain of the past will only prolong the pain. This isn’t about being noble, it’s about saving your sanity. So how about you take the first steps to letting go off your anger? You’ll soon find that a massive weight will be lifted right off your shoulders!
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